Maybe non-binary people who want a nice assimilated spot alongside men and women and non-binary people who want to abolish gender boxes and build a world of unlabelled genderdiversity should realize that they’re two very different groups that don’t play well together.

They don’t want the same things. One achieves their goals by getting a third toilet, a third passport status, a third pronoun, the other is likely to just feel more entrenced in the idea that they have to have a gender label and it just becomes more difficult to name that entrenchment because a third box has been presented as the only right answer and they’re told that they should feel liberated by it.

(And some non-binary people definitely do feel that a genderneutral pronoun helps them in a very real mental-comfort-here-and-now way because at least it’s not he/she but that bit of everyday comfort doesn’t take away their feeling that in the long run it’s still a third box with limits on it)