do people on this website understand that there does not have to be an age gap in a relationship in order for it to be abusive, and an age gap between peers doesn’t automatically make the relationship toxic?
also: minors can be abusive.
the younger person in a relationship w/ an age gap can be abusive.
these are things that you erase when you further the idea that relationships with an age gap are inherently abusive.Also: not having honest conversations about what abuse looks like and not having honest conversations about what a healthy relationship with an age difference looks like benefits abusers.
Take for example a phrase like “biological age and mental age are different and some young people are more mature than others”. Young people know this is true, they experience it every single day. But if honest conversations about this can not take place because “that phrase also gets used by abusers” then the result is that the only people who acknowledge this truth are the abusers. And if one side is denying a thing young people know to be true and the other side is acknowledging it, who do you think young people will listen to?
Age is a power variable. Like race and gender and income and ability. With a very big age different it is a big power variable, in other cases it is a small power variable. People who purposely seek out power variables are suspicious as fuck, but the power variable itself does not guarantee abuse. In some cases the weaker person in a power variable uses the outward appearance of vulnerability to get away with abusing the seemingly more powerful person.
Stop getting into a moral panic when age differences come up and start having honest conversations about what abuse is like and what a healthy relationship with an age difference looks like.
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(And do not send me “but what about a person of age … and a person of age …?” questions. I do not want to play a numbers game. I want honest conversations about what a healthy relationship with an age difference looks like and I am 100% sure that’s not a conversation about numbers.)
Note though that someone in their 20s dating a minor is still fucked up no matter how you look at it. Minors, please don’t date someone in their 20s.
YOU ARE EXACTLY THE KIND OF PERSON I AM TALKING ABOUT HERE.
I DO NOT THINK I COULD HAVE MADE THAT CLEARER.
KINDLY FUCK OFF WITH YOUR RIDICULOUS OVERSIMPLIFICATION OF A TOPIC THAT DESERVES SERIOUS ATTENTION. YOUNG PEOPLE DESERVE BETTER THAN THIS SHIT.
QueerAnarchism 