is it a common theme in aphobes to also call the word queer ‘the q slur’? idk if this is just something ive noticed or if its actually a pattern or what

Definitely.
There’s a perfectly logical reason for it too:
A lot of people who hate the word ‘queer’ don’t hate it because it gets used as a slur. If that were the case they’d be as touchy about the word ‘gay’. The real reason they attack ‘queer’ so specifically is because it is the one word that defies clear definitions, the kind of clear definitions that can be used to exclude people.
Aphobes and othet exclusionists need clear definitions to practice their exclusionism, and as such they fight the word ‘queer’. Other violent exclusionists like TERFs and biphobes do the same.