i’m a trans gay guy and also identify as asexual and i don’t want cis het aces/aros in LGBT safe spaces. have you not noticed the rampant homophobia/transphobia that comes out of that community? i don’t see how a cis guy who likes fucking women but doesn’t fall in love with them is in any shape or form “marginalized.” i guess by that logic, half the male population is marginalized

oudeteron:

By
your logic, cis gay men shouldn’t be in LGBTQ+ because of the rampant
biphobia and transphobia I have seen constantly from their community,
and cis lesbians shouldn’t be in the community because most TERFs are
cis lesbians.

???

I’m
fed up with gay men presenting this notion of “men fucking women”
as the ultimate infringement on the LGBTQ+ community. Women and men
having sex already happens there all the time because bi/pansexual
people exist, who aren’t magically straight while in M/W
relationships. Additionally, since you’re trans, I hope you’d agree
with the assertion that you should still be included even if you were
100% heterosexual.

Next
time, try with a little less misogyny.

–

But
about this “heartless aro frat boy” bogeyman. Since gay guys love
to tell other LGBTQ+ people that their experiences are just anecdotal
and therefore not representative, be reassured the following
comes from archive research I did of a decade of gay male magazines.
You know, what the community used to talk about itself before the
internet was a widespread thing. And this argument you’re making against aro men?
That’s repackaged biphobia.

I don’t mean that as hyperbole, I
mean it’s fucking verbatim. It was the exact line of thought these
magazines used to demonize bi men. “He’ll just use women for sex
because he doesn’t really love them” was a sentiment they devoted
multi-page analyses to. The only difference was that after that first
bit, they concluded with “and he doesn’t really love you either, so
he’ll use you for sex while cheating on his wife.”

Bi
people, though in this context it was just bi men, have been painted
as amoral sexbots incapable of commitment who are polluting the
community probably since before you were born. It’s not new and it’s
not acceptable when you do it to someone else.

Now
let’s hark back to the actual definition of aromantic, which is
someone who doesn’t experience romantic attraction. Nowhere does that
imply that they’re incapable of love, or any other positive
feeling towards a sexual partner. I’m one of those people who only do
both romantic and sexual relationships, so I can’t say I understand
what aro people feel from personal experience, but I
think we should all at least realize that aromantic
doesn’t in itself mean emotionless sexual exploiter.

So
that’s thing #2 I’m fed up with: this puritanical sexual anxiety that
I keep seeing aces accused of all the time, but only gatekeeping gay
guys actually perform.

Here’s
another post about why you shouldn’t attack aro men.