badupdate:

sex positivity could’ve been about promoting healthy and safe communication and behavior inside and outside the bedroom, providing resources for people with STI’s, destigmatizing sex work and sex workers, and decreasing the unfair pressure put on teenagers (primarily teenage girls) to have sex and replacing it with better and more effective access to important information and resources but y’all made it about “normalizing” getting pissed on and choked in bed

So… sex positivity.. but without all the weirdoes? 

No thanks. 

Dealing with the messy diversity of sexuality is essential because sexuality is messy and weird and all over the place and it always will be because sex is people pursuing pleasure and the human capacity for pleasure is hella creative. 

And look, I’m constantly saying that ‘never kinkshame’ isn’t a good approach and that we need to have more honest conversations about how rape culture and sexism effects our desires including our fetishes. 

But it doesn’t get better by removing kinks from the conversation or creating a new devide of ‘pure good sexualities’ worthy of being raised from the shame and ‘evil sexualities’ that make you a filthy sinner. 

I’ve seen what happens when movements try to prioritize those who they find normal and thus ‘deserving’ enough to be accepted while trying to exclude those too weird to fit into their story. I’ve heard that before and it always involved a level of othering that ended up hurting queer people, sex workers, people with STDs, poor people, etc.

Not doing that again. not ever. no way.