This is such an abuser-disguised-as-a-quirky-parent vibe it literally makes me sick 2 look at lol
I am going to talk about this for a minute, because yeah I think OP really nails something here. A lot of really crappy parenting is often upheld as a cute or funny thing, and a lot of people in the comments are shitting on OP because they cannot imagine how it could possibly be abusive. It’s hard because you cannot see the rest of the context, but this could very well be an abuse tactic, and overall is just a crappy thing to do to a kid. Plus it probably doesn’t work and has negative consequences for the overall relationship.
I am going to address several things off of the bat. I am not saying that having your kid clean the kitchen is abusive, what I am saying is establishing a pattern of taking away good things preemptively to enforce “good” behavior is a bad parenting tactic that could toe the line to abuse. Especially the way it’s worded as if it’s a common tactic (need for a new photo), overall this is authoritarian, allows no room for autonomy, and doesn’t even really get at why the kitchen should be and needs to be cleaned today (what you actually want your kid to learn in the long run). There are better ways to communicate the message of shared responsibility than through the creation of social isolation (and yes this is social isolation, wifi is used in how humans particularly young people communicate with their friends in real life and online nowadays).
The major point I want to emphasize is that this type of action establishes a precedent and a set of emotions in a kid and none of those emotions are positive. It shows that important and vital things will be withheld, potentially without warning. It tells the kid they do not have a say in how their environment is structured, it tells them they do not have the right to set their own schedule, overall it breeds a sense of incompetence in themselves and resentment towards that authority that doesn’t really consider their desire and needs.
I reflect a lot on parenting, and the best parenting doesn’t demand a kid do something or else, it gives a kid the tools so they can get to that answer on their own, and when they do both of you will be better served. The kid will have more motivation to get it done, and there isn’t a building sense of resentment. Yeah this method is hard work, and there are situations and kids it doesn’t work for, but seeing this post out of context does give me bad parenting/potential abuse vibes.
Hey! Thanks a ton. Since making this comment offhandedly, I have gotten over fifty Anon messages telling me I’m a spoiled brat, that my abuse is fake, and that I should take my own life and stop being a burden on my abusive parents. People perceived my comment as “lol this is inherently abusive” rather than the “man this gives me the Willie’s cause it’s resonant to my own abuse.” I intended.
In that time, few people have stood up for me or even tried to understand my side. Thank you for having compassion for an abuse survivor instead of invalidating her. It legitimately means a lot to me.
QueerAnarchism 