you wanna know how your grandparents “worked through” their problems and didn’t divorce?
cause ya grandmama most likely didnt have her own assets or income and depended on your grandfather to support her and the family. she had no choice but to work it out. also the stigma a divorced woman would face? pfffffffft.
trust me alot of yalls grandfathers are/were awful people and your grandmother wouldve left him if she could
!!!!!!!!!
A lot of people act like higher divorce rates are indicative of a loss or morality or commitment in our generation, but to be honest, I always am glad when I see high divorce rates because it means people are leaving abusive and unhealthy relationships at higher rates. It means that fewer women are dependent on men and can decide for themselves what they want their life to be.
Republicans act like higher divorce rates and fewer young adults wanting to get married is a bad thing when really it’s just a sign of social progress and greater autonomy.
^^^^^^^^^^^^
Decided to take a closer look at the middle aged couples in my family, and “happy” seems to be the exception and not the rule.
Their relationship mainly morphed into some kind of sibling relationship, with the attitude of “what you gonna do, they’re family”.
In my community, divorce is still something exotic (to people over 50), so they don’t even think about it. Doesn’t mean they’re still in love and that’s why they’ve been married for 30 years.
It kinda works around these parts, but don’t go around romanticizing those 20+ marriages, it just is what it is.
Looking at the people in my life who have needed long term support through hard times, like chronic illnesses and depressions and brain damage and other stuff that comes on our path, I do think most of us need to have some life-long connections, supporting each other for as long as possible in non-abusive interpersonal connections.
It is human to go through times where we need love even when we can give nothing back and the only reason people do it is because they grew to love us before we entered this period in our life.
But that ‘I’ll stick with you no matter what and I’ll take care of you even when its very difficult to do so’ is best rooted in friendship and it makes no sense to heap all that onto ONE person who must simultaneously be your romantic partner, your sexual partner, your financial partner, your child-raising partner, your cohabitant, etc. That kind of codependency on a single person is not a good idea.
That is why I love the concept of ‘queer families’ who form lifelong connections based on friendship and supporting each other in a world that does nothing for or survival.
QueerAnarchism 