Once more about how much I dislike the words DFAB and DMAB

queeranarchism:

One of the things I dislike about terms like DFAB and DMAB (besides a lot of issues I’ve already talked about in the past) is that it’s used as an ‘easy fix’ when talking about complex issues where it would really be much clearer to describe what’s really relevant. This brings gender into topics where gender has no place. 

Talking about people who can get pregnant? ‘People with ovaries and a uterus’ is much more inclusive and doesn’t involve an F for ‘female’ (which is pretty hurtful to people who’ve spend a long time breaking free from the label ‘female’. 

Talking about dresses and lingerie designed for bodies with broader shoulders and smaller breasts? Describe that shit. No need to bring the M for ‘male’ into any descriptions here (again: hurtful). 

Talking about people who can grow a full beard? Describe that or describe ‘People who have spend a significant part of their teen/adult life with high testosterone levels’. 

These descriptions are all longer and take more time to write but don’t have the very problematic aspects that DFAB and DMAB have. And super important: they remind us of the limited relevance of gender. They remind us that regular things like pregnancy, dresses and beards do not need to be categorized according to gender or some bullshit notion like ‘biological sex’. 

Grouping all people as neither ‘DFAB’ or ‘DMAB’ isn’t progressive and doesn’t deconstruct the gender binary. It’s getting back to labeling everyone ‘female’ or ‘male’ by a different route.