theunitofcaring:

If I were ten, or fourteen, or seventeen, and being abused by my parents, I have absolutely no idea what I would do. I don’t just mean ‘because I’d be ten and an abuse victim and not able to figure out which options I had’ I also mean ‘if I with all my current knowledge and abilities had the legal status of a ten year old, and I was being abused, I have absolutely no idea what I would do.’

We have advice for people in abusive relationships. You get out. It’s really important. Abuse warps your ability to recognize abuse and to accomplish things and to build a support network for yourself; it often feels safer to stay, but it rarely is. We have a safety net, however patched together, intended to help you run and give you somewhere to land.

If you are not yet eighteen, our society is not set up to let you do that. In many places it is illegal without your parents’ permission. You cannot get for yourself the benefits like food stamps that you would be eligible for as an adult in the same circumstances. Hotels will not rent a room to you and landlords will not sign a lease with you. Without lots of interaction with a complex state process that is terrifying, unpredictable and can make things way worse, you cannot set your own medical power of attorney. You cannot pick your own guardians even if they are happy to have you. You cannot redirect money of your care to a person of your choosing. You cannot hire people to assist you in life tasks you need assistance with, even if you have money. 

We have no interest in giving children a way out of their living situations except by surrendering themselves to different authority figures they have even less reason to trust.

I think the most important project of children’s rights is changing that. I want to make it legal to run away from home, legal to stay with any adult who you choose (and to access resources that will help that adult support you if they can’t afford to provide you with a safe environment), legal to access benefits in your own name, legal to change your power of attorney, legal to change your name and get a restraining order and get a bank account. I want kids to be able to access medical care independently. I want domestic violence shelters for children that categorically promise never to send you back unless you decide to go back yourself. I want kids who’d like to work full-time to get to meet with a social worker who will approve that if it’s actually their best option instead of dithering about how we should pretend they have better ones. Well, I want a UBI for kids but until we get that I want to stop forcing them to only take jobs where their employers are willing to break the law.

It’s going to take a lot more than that, but it’s going to have to include this. And the way things are now is a horrifying wrong.

(https://www.1800runaway.org is a hotline that will help you make a plan to leave your home safely if you are a minor.)