Category: Uncategorized

This may sound a little cheesy but hope that can last through dark times isn’t something you get from TED talks, or from love, or from faith, or from books. Powerful, resilient, durable hope comes from taking an action and seeing it improve something. If it’s an action takes together with others, that’s even better.

I’d be very very wary of any suggestion that polyamory could be a basis for ‘communities of care’. Because in practice, what that means is that those with the most sexual and romantic partners receive the most care. Which is, ya know, a hierarchy of the fuckable. That’s a terrible idea. If that isn’t immediately … Continue reading Don’t shape ‘communities of care’ around polyamory. Ever.

Casual reminder that sex positivity is the political position towards sex, which says that sex is not inherently more shameful, sinful or worse that other parts of life (and actually not better or exempt from political analysis either). As such, it has no relation to how easy sex is for you. If you never have … Continue reading Sex positivity

One of the problems of what I am for now going to call accountability culture (because it stretches far beyond call outs) is that it makes doing nothing or silently withdrawing the safe option. We’ve made being accountable into a terrifying and humiliating and very public experience, so logically most people avoid it at all … Continue reading Accountability culture

(Reposting a reply as a seperate post because the OP I was replying to turned out to be kinda terfy and that kind of people have no place on my blog. Also a lot here are not my own ideas but based on some conversations I had today, but hey, every idea ever is based … Continue reading Polyamory as ‘women’s liberation’ bullshit

If we rely on punishment as a tool to create safer spaces, we will always push out the most vulnerable. Because punishment does not happen to bad people, punishment happens to those who can not prevent it from happening. Punishment is is question of power, not justice.

Conversations about homelessness and empty homes are incomplete without acknowledgement of the fact that being housed is not a prefered or even a tolerable situation for everyone. Be it mental illness, or neurotype, or character, some people can not find what they need out of life in a permanent home and some would simply be … Continue reading Preferred homelessness

I’m disappointed in a lot of the conversations about neuro-normativity in inter-personal interactions, mostly because of how absolutist they tend to be and how useless that is in most real life interactions. A lot of conversations ignore that you can’t be sure you’re not talking to another non-neurotypical person but more to the point they … Continue reading Different neuro-needs

There is a tyranny in the obligation to define yourself. But like most forms of tyranny is only reveals itself when someone breaks the rules. When someone is clearly outside the norm, yet refuses to define their sexuality, refuses to define what race they are, refuses to define what gender, it rears it’’s ugly head. … Continue reading The tyranny of definition

I never quite feel at home when non-binary individuals talk about the importance of ‘they’ pronouns and non-binary identity cards. Don’t get me wrong: I totally understand why it matters to them, but it doesn’t feel relevant to my genderqueer identity. You see, I don’t want to be seen as belonging in some a kind of ‘third box’, … Continue reading Why my genderqueer identity does not revolve around ‘they’ pronouns.